This is about, part 2...

It’s the year of Tiger, my neighbour bought me a small soft toy represented their feeling of Chinese New Year. I was delighted, not because the soft toy but was for their thoughtful idea, which has blown me away. I used not to celebrate in the New Year; just like Christmas and Santa Claus to others, some people rather have a quiet one than a busy party. I questioned myself, was it because the older I became, the less interest to be? I appreciated the efforts from them; it made me felt very cosy and warm-hearted.

My neighbour are pensioners and is a retired couple, living with few cats in the house and have a fish pound in the back garden. I sometimes go to their garden watching fishes, playing with cats and chatting with them.

Life couldn’t be better than after you retired… no rush hour traffics, no meetings, no deadlines, no annoying colleagues, no business hours and is completely free. Have a cuppa in somewhere, enjoy the atmosphere and stay as long as you like as there isn’t a break-time limited to be concerned.

Are you assertive!?

People can have either good or bad days, depending on what they see and how they feel. A typical day at work is putting your head down: then work is not special; seeing other people annoyed in front of your face that is extraordinary.

Most of the day I do routine tasks, but occasionally there’s a crisis or I have to meet a deadline. At certain times of the year I have a very heavy workload but at other times it can be quiet light. I am an easy going person but can’t stand people with bad manners as I think everyone should have basic interpersonal skills. For example: laughing out load in the office, a rude attitude and ignorance at work are most annoying. I don’t know what the worst thing would be from my colleagues; unfortunately I am able to choose the job I like but not the people I work with.

My workplace is not a call centre; however the majority of them work via the phones and get in contact with customers, providing advice and help as well as giving guidance. For me, it is a good thing to help others, but another thing to make others to do what you tell them to do. Such attitude does go around in the office, if you lack awareness and self-esteem then you will be working like a hard labourer; you are supposed to work hard of course, but not work to compensate for others’ laziness. Be assertive is recommended and will not end up doing something that you shouldn’t do.

This is about...

Many people understand friendship but when it comes to distance, it is far more difficult. It’s been several years since I moved aboard and I have met nice friends from work and locals with different personal histories. It is rare to meet people with the same background or culture near-by, whereas if I lived in the capital city of the country, it would be easy to spot a few. I am not living in the capital city or in the countryside but a suburban area. Everything to me is distance, from and to work, to shop or even just to go to cinema: driving is always necessary.

Nowadays, the best way to make friends seems to be to go online (no, not compare.com). I know some people who have the same cultural background from a forum which comments on a wide range of daily matters about living abroad. Somehow they are spread up and down the country, very distant from each other, but it has made me interested to visit the forum often. I like the idea of sharing the experiences with other members within the forum, also understanding how other people cope with life in a foreign country. I am also aware that there are gathering events happening, however the majority of them would take place in the city rather than in the suburban area; perhaps I miss out all the gossip but I definitely enjoy my peace and quiet.

Once upon a time, I thought I was independent enough to live aboard; eventually I found ways to balance myself between working and studying. Filling up my free time to socialise with others by doing volunteer work and helping out with the local community activities are ways to make my life more involved with others no matter where I am. Friends are important, and are even better when family are not around.

So what does "friend" mean to you? For me, a few life long friends would be far better than tons of friends, who are only suitable for having fun with (gossip, drinking or shopping etc). I look out for life long friends, it is already hard enough to find even in your country of birth; never mind now, in a foreign country. The interesting thing is: I have found it easier to be friends with locals than people from home. For instance:

• People are more independent here than from home
• People make efforts and feel more appreciation
• There are no "Should" or "Should Not", only do it when you think it is right and necessary.
• People make decisions based on personal need rather than for others happiness.
• Speak up and stand out.
• People let things go more easily and happy to accept other opinions.
• There is less worry: when something crops up then it is fixed.
  

These are personal experiences, it doesn’t mean everyone has the same thought; you may come across with different idea. Nevertheless, living abroad truly makes your mind open and that is all the matter.